The Cult-shaped Hole in Me
A Review of “Dedication and Leadership” by Douglas Hyde
I read books outside of my books list all the time. This book in particular struck me, so I decided to write a very brief review of it along with a personal story. I may do more posts like this in the future.
Book Review
Too often, in my experience, Christians give the impression that they talk, that maybe they have all the right answers too, but then too often do not follow through by putting these into action. The Christian will believe that Communists have the wrong answers, but he will certainly have to acknowledge that they try to put them into practice. The Party know from experience that people tend to be influenced by the mere fact that Communists are not just talking but are doing something, and then go on to accept the thought that they are probably accomplishing something, too.
DOUGLAS HYDE, DEDICATION AND LEADERSHIP, P. 126-27
I learned about this book from Darryl Cooper who hosts The Martyrmade Podcast. I can’t remember if it was from one of his episodes or from one of his interviews. In any case, I was intrigued by his description of the book and bought a copy.
On the surface, Dedication and Leadership looks like a rather benign book—one you would easily gloss over at the bookstore. It has a plain cover (as you see in the thumbnail). The title seems to suggest it’s just a dime-a-dozen book on leadership or self-help or both. However, once you open up it’s pages, it’s becomes very obvious this is not a John Maxwell or Tony Robbins knockoff. It is far, far more salacious.
Published in 1966, the book seeks to answer for the reader one question: Why are Communists winning and Christians losing the fight for culture?
Didn’t see that one coming, with a boring title like Dedication and Leadership, did you?
Douglas Hyde, the author, was a card carrying member of the Communist Party in Britain for twenty years. Leaving it in 1948, him and his family converted to Catholicism. Almost twenty years after that he published this book.
Hyde edited the Communist newspaper in Britain. He traveled all over the world and spent time in third world jails. He trained people on how to be effective Communists and leaders in their communities and workplaces—including making a respected and eulogized leader out of a short, obese, one-eyed man with a horrible stutter that would test even the most patient. When he became a Catholic, he took the accumulated wisdom he acquired during his time as a Communist and shared with the Catholics Church (and Christians in general) why they were getting their butts kicked by a group who had only a fraction of their manpower, connections, and resources.
That’s where the title of the book comes in. The Communist Party had dedication and (effective) leadership that the Church sorely lacked. And continues to lack to this day.
Think about the implications of this. A militantly atheistic and terribly persecuted organization could get people to willingly die for its mission, give up all their free time and resources for its cause, and aggressively evangelize to hostile populations… and do it all gladly.
How were the Communists able to pull this off without belief in God? Without the good news of the death and resurrection of Jesus? Without being born again? Without believing there will be a better life after death? This is what Hyde sought to answer in his book.
I’ll touch on one philosophy and one technique the Communist Party used which are found early in the book.
As part of their operational philosophy, the Communist Party was not afraid to demand more from their members. If they didn’t think someone was doing enough, they would strongly encourage them to do more. And you know what? The members were happy to comply! They were happy to give more free time to “the cause.” They were happy to work for a pittance and give even that little back to the party. There were no complaints. There was no burnout. There was just the mission and the camaraderie it created between all the members.
One of the techniques they used to get people dedicated to the Communist Party was they would send brand new recruits out into the street corners to sell newspapers, go door-to-door handing out pamphlets, and the like. Inevitably, they would be confronted by someone who made arguments the new recruit couldn’t refute and asked questions the new recruit couldn’t effectively answer. This would rattle the new recruit, and if they believed even a little that the Communist Party was a good force in the world, they would desire to be able to do better next time at addressing questions and objections. This is when leaders in the party would step in and offer the new recruit classes that are specially designed to help them more effectively communicate the Communist cause. Of course, the classes will instruct the new recruit on Communism and arm them with more arguments and facts, but more importantly, the classes will cause them to start thinking, acting, and talking more and more like a Communist. Communism will become their worldview that informs their decisions on day-to-day life and broader issues.
There are other techniques and philosophies as well: being the best at what you do, the use of propaganda, “Bolshevik self-criticism”… It’s a book that will really make you think if you take your faith seriously.
One caution is that this book was published almost sixty years ago. I think for Hyde’s wisdom in this book to be used effectively, it needs to be carefully considered and updated for today. The world of 1966 is very different from the world of 2023. The techniques he suggest the (Catholic/Christian) reader learn from may not be that easy to adapt for today. Today’s man is far more cynical, skeptical, and nihilistic. If you want to reach him, you will have to cut through those philosophies or he’s going to laugh in your face and call you a cultist—all the while riding on his high-and-mighty enlightenment straight into hell.
The Cult-shaped Hole in Me
In the first chapter of the book, Hyde talks about a conversation he had with a fellow former Communist. The man recalls how his entire life, from dawn to dusk, was taken up with Communist Party activities. He would take any opportunity possible at work to talk about Communism. He would dutifully read the Communist newspaper to get all the talking points and then leave it somewhere in public in the hopes someone would pick it up, read it, and eventually become a Communist. As soon as he got home from work, he would immediately go back out and do something related to the Communist Party. Day after day after day.
Then Hyde writes this:
“Rather sadly he added: ‘You know, life had some meaning and some purpose in those days. Life was good in the Communist Party.’”
(p. 24)
This two page section struck a nerve in me because I could somewhat relate to what this guy was saying. And that’s because I used to be in something like a cult.
I say “something like a cult” because I wasn’t involved with a group that lived on a commune, dictated my day-to-day life, and/or made me act in any way that was too out of the ordinary. It was, nonetheless, somewhat authoritarian and exclusive, and the leader was both a conman and master manipulator who knew how to make his congregants feels as though they were a part of The True Thing. To go against him or the group would cause you to be left out of The True Thing. It’s the ultimate FOMO (fear of missing out) to believe you can be left out of God’s true movement and ultimate plans for the world if you didn’t go along with the leader and his group.
From here on out, I will call the group I was a part of for about three years “The Congregation” and the name of the leader “Adam.” I don’t want to give out real names even though neither are a problem anymore. The group dissolved in the late 2000s and the leader died a few years later. There are no splinter groups (anymore) that I’m aware of. The only thing left of The Congregation are memories—and the long term psychological and spiritual damage it caused its former members.
Also, what The Congregation believed is not really relevant. It would take a lot of time to explain and I would rather not turn this into a dissertation.
Alright, now that the disclaimer is over, I’ll dive in.
The Congregation entered my life at a rather tumultuous time:
My mentor, one of the pastors at my church (which I’ll call “Baptist Church”), had been burned by the church and he ended up leaving. This, of course, left me without a mentor.
Most of my friends left Baptist Church to join what ended up being another cult (go figure). They, like me, were discontent and wanted to find something more fulfilling.
Baptist Church had to hire a new pastor because the old pastor, a very competent man, had other duties with the denomination and could no longer pastor Baptist Church. The new pastor, however, was bad at his job. He put in his “A-game” when he was being evaluated by Baptist Church, but was revealed to be unimpressive after he was hired. This new pastor was also “too busy” to mentor me. This was important because I was interested in ministry (which was why I was being mentored in the first place before my mentor left).1
Needless to say, I was rather discontent with Baptist Church. I began getting involved in a para-church ministry at my college. And though I was unwilling to admit it at the time, because doing so would have been a no-no, the para-church ministry pretty much became my new church.2
My first year with that ministry was some of the best times I’d ever had as a Christian. I had a new group of peers. I was able to get involved in the leadership. We also spent a lot of time together, inside and outside the ministry, and became good friends.
Things began declining in the second year of my involvement in the para-church ministry. Some of the leaders had graduated. The guy assigned to us from the para-church headquarters was gone and the new guy only occasionally dropped by. It was becoming stale. It was a bit directionless. The void left by everything I described above began to yawn again. Now, however, I had tasted what a church could become, how enjoyable church ministry could be—and it just served to widen that void.
It was during the second year that I was introduced to The Congregation through some of my peers on the leadership team. The first time I went to one of The Congregation’s services was an incredible experience. Not only was the service good, but the sermon was top notch. To my surprise, Adam answered many questions I had been dealing with at the time concerning my faith. It was like a divine appointment.
The Congregation ended up filling up that void in me that the para-church ministry could not fully do. It was full of people who were eager to be there. There were peers that I really got along with. There were a lot of opportunities for action and ministry. Adam was more than willing to mentor me personally. And, where it felt like at Baptist Church I had to temper my desire to pursue knowledge (of the Bible, theology, etc.), Adam fully encouraged my pursuit and gave me lots of material to consume.
It was everything I wanted in a church.
And that was the snare.
As I alluded to above, those of us in The Congregation were made to feel like we were a part of something special, something unique, something that hardly anyone else had. We were getting in tune with God’s true intentions. We were accessing true knowledge and wisdom that was not to be found anywhere else. We were going to be the spark that would bring about the restoration of true Christianity. We were going to bring forth a realignment of the world toward God.
That created deep bonds with everyone in The Congregation.
It also created the sense that to leave The Congregation or to go against Adam in any way put your position in this grandiose plan in jeopardy.
There are so many stories I can tell from this time period to describe how much I was under Adam’s thumb. How inflated my ego got in believing I had the real truth. How willing and eager I was to volunteer for things because I believed I was working for the true higher cause. To give you just a peek into how involved I was in The Congregation: I eventually became Adam’s right hand guy.
To make a long story short though, The Congregation imploded in spectacular fashion.3 Adam made himself out to be a liar, conman, and manipulator. The aftermath was devastating for many of us. A number even turned their backs on their Christian faith.
Despite all of that, I can echo Hyde’s acquaintance:
Life had some meaning and some purpose in those days. Life was good in The Congregation.
Nowhere else have I ever truly felt like I belonged somewhere than when I was at The Congregation. Never did my life feel like it had purpose and meaning—before or since. Until recently, I never felt like I had a better group of peers to surround myself with than my friends at The Congregation. Until recently, learning never felt more important and lively and exciting than at The Congregation.
It has been a difficult thing trying to grapple with the fact that this “something like a cult”, this grand lie I was a part of, this false reality, was the one and only time in my life where I felt like I had meaning and purpose. True friendships. Closeness with God. True expression of faith. No other church or political movement or organization has ever made me feel this way. Not even by a long shot.
This cult-shaped hole in me remains to this day.
This fact brings a level of guilt. I should have meaning and purpose because I have the Gospel. I have confessed Jesus as my Lord and profess his death and resurrection. And yet, this doesn’t nearly as excite me as the first time I went to a service at The Congregation and learned what I learned from Adam’s sermon.
About a year ago, I joined a church after not being a part of one for ten years. It remains to be seen whether I can recapture even a little of that belonging and purpose I felt at The Congregation—without all the “cult” stuff, of course. Can it actually be done without the “cult” stuff, though? That’s the question that always sits in the back of my mind.
Does there need to be that level of belonging and purpose that I felt at The Congregation? That’s another good question. I don’t know. It certainly makes the work of ministry, building relationships, study, prayer, and worship, easier.
May your days be filled with grace.
-Andronikos Anodos
1That pastor a few years later ended up splitting Baptist Church and taking a portion of it away to start their own thing in the same neighborhood. Funnily enough, it was my mentor, the one Baptist Church had spurned, who came back in and helped clean up the mess. Baptist Church’s split happened after my time in The Congregation, but I just wanted to give the reader further perspective on just how bad at his job the new pastor was.
2Para-church ministries are organizations like Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA), Young Life, etc.
3This is a story in and of itself. Intrigue, lies, amateur espionage, picketing, and more happened during the implosion period.
Thanks. This is great.